Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Back to My Story

     Part of my platform was to share my story about life with a disability.  I started by telling about my childhood and sharing pictures of my family.  I enjoyed looking back at my carefree days as a child and remembering the family unit I came from.  Next, I shared about when I first starting noticing problems.  I had a hard time climbing steps and walking long distances.  This lead to me sharing about several doctor's visits that began a series of tests and my first muscle biopsy.

     And then I stopped.  I completely quit sharing my story.  There have been countless people who have asked when the next blog post would be.  People are really interested in hearing my story and I stopped.  I just stopped telling it.  I would blame my busy schedule or come up with some other excuse as to why I hadn't written anymore.

     In the beginning, I think I really believed those excuses.  I just had too much going on or so I told myself.  As the weeks turned into months, I knew there was more to it.  The deeper I dug into my medical records, the harder it was to relive those years of my life.

     I am not an emotional person.  I don't like to cry.  While pouring over my medical records so I could provided the most detailed and accurate information for my blog, there would be tears streaming down my face.

     So I stopped.  I made excuses.  I put my medical files aside and said I was too busy to write blogs about my life with a disability.  When really, I didn't want to relive those hard moments in my life.  I didn't want to remember all the things that I used to be able to do and I can no longer do.

     I never realized all the emotional baggage I would have to unpack in order to share my story.  I thought it would be easy to tell.  I lived it, so how hard could it be to share it with others? Much harder than I ever imagined.

     One thing I am not is a quitter, so easy or not, I have a story to tell.  I have drawn people into my life story and I owe them more than just the beginning to that story.  I owe them the entire story.

     If you have been here since the beginning of my blog, thanks for hanging in.  If you have just started following my blog, thanks for coming.  I hope you take the time to look back to the beginning of my journey.

     I plan to continue and finish my story.  I hope you enjoy.  :-)

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