(July 2010-I was pregnant in this photo)
Once Jeremy and I set our minds to having a baby, I was pregnant in about three months. We were over the moon and shared the good news with everyone (social media included). Our initial check up at 5 weeks was wonderful and the follow up at 7 weeks looked great. We were well on our way to being a family of three.
I, of course, was considered a high risk pregnancy because of LGMD2B. At 12 weeks we went to our first high risk doctor's appointment. Jeremy and I were so excited to have another ultrasound and get a sneak peak at our bundle of joy.
After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, we were called back to a room. Jeremy picked me up and placed me on the table, we were ready. As the grayscale picture appeared on the monitor our excitement grew. The ultrasound tech didn't have much to say and the picture on the screen didn't look just right.
Jeremy and I sat in silence, our eyes wondering from the screen, to the ultrasound tech, and back to each other. We were worried. The ultrasound tech excused herself to locate a doctor but gave us no answers as to what was happening.
Jeremy held my hand and wrapped his arms around me as we waited for the doctor. Neither one of us said much. I think we both wanted to hear what the doctor said before jumping to any conclusions.
The doctor came in and turned the ultrasound screen off. I instantly knew something was very wrong.
He told us that the baby didn't have a heart beat.
I don't remember much of what he said after that but what I do remember is that Jeremy never left my side. He held my hand, wiped the tears from my face, and held me close to his heart.
I wanted far away from that doctors office. I knew no amount of distance from the ultrasound room would change the facts. Our baby was gone. Just like that. I was numb.
We were completely and utterly devastated. In a split second, the baby high we had been on for the last few weeks was ripped away from us. March 20, 2011 would no longer be the day our baby should have been born, but a day that will forever be instilled in our minds.
The days and weeks that followed were an emotional roller coaster. I was a sobbing mess most days. There were countless times I would lay curled up in a ball crying my eyes out while Jeremy held me. He was so patient and gentle with me. It was his loss as much as it was mine but the hormones were causing me to be all over the place.
Jeremy and I understood that God had a plan for us. Although it was very hard to see at the time, we had faith that we would still have a family.